The Better Win

As a child, I learned to win, or at least to aim for winning. As an adult, I’ve learned that sometimes when I win, it’s a loss. I learned this lesson first in my marriage. April and I would have some sort of disagreement and I would win the argument but instead of getting a trophy, I got a cold shoulder or a wounded wife. I had to learn that the better win was when my marriage won, not when I won. This is true in so many areas of life. Sometimes, when I am challenging someone to step up with God and they aren’t sure about it, I can use the Bible and some common sense to win the debate, but rarely is the other person better because of it. I have never debated someone into taking their next step with God and seen lasting fruit from it. The better win would be for me to win the person, not the conversation. There have been times when I have had to choose between a win for me and a win for my church. There have been times where my taking a hit was good for the church and I had to choose the better win. If I’m focused on me, on my comfort, on my career, on my recognition, then the impact I will make with my life is drastically limited. I will never make as much of an impact as my marriage can, as my friendships can, as the church can. I have to retrain my brain to not think about how I can win, but how my relationships and my church can win. Where have you had to choose between a personal win and the better win?